Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Tinotopak cellphone ko
Parang yung may-ari. May topak. Baliw.
My apologies if I didn't get to reply to your text messages.
I guess mabuti na rin yun. Di ako nakakabasa ng text, di rin ako nakakapag-text.
Maan @ 12:16 AM
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So high school...
Caution: Senti stuff ahead.
Leny sent this to me. Something she got out of her high school stuff.
Just when I thought I was already too cynical and too old for this kind of mushiness...
Tumatanda yata ako ng paurong. Late bloomer?
----
Hello... Such a sweetly inane way to begin, but it gets the job done. How are you? I never could tell just by looking at you. I always had to ask, always had to hear it from you, always had to have a valid reason to get you to talk to me. Why is that? Why did you never talk to me as if there was nothing else in the world you'd rather be doing than spending your time with me, just listening to the sound of my voice? Why? You are amazing! Did I ever tell you that? The mere sight of you leaves me breathless; the thought of you leaves me in awe. You are so unbelievably beautiful, so exquisitely magnetic; so unbearably out of my reach. Why is it? Why couldn't you see me the way I see you? Why did I have to meet you if I was never meant to have you? Why? I've fallen for you. I love you. A simple statement whose complexity astounds and confounds me. It leaves me speechless, confused, weak, frightened. You dont even know the extent of your power over me! Why is that? Why can't you see the way I longingly follow you with my eyes? Why isn't it possible for you to love me back? Why? I was just wondering.----
Ang drama! Di ko ma-take! Nasusuka ako! Ayoko na ng ganito! Jessica Zafra... I need you!!!
Maan @ 12:14 AM
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
You Have the Power to Create Love
Trex, hinanap ko pa talaga ito. Ito yung pinag-uusapan natin. I stand corrected. Hindi pala 97/3. 90/10 pala.
---
YOU HAVE WEALTH UNDER YOUR NOSE
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
"Bo, this girl in my office is a real looker," many a husband will say. "But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm head over heels with her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender -- so many things that my wife has not."
Sure.
Guys, trust me on this. Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman who will be more charming. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Be a better cook. Have greater sex appeal. Be a more efficient housekeeper. And you will find a woman who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your wife ever did.
Because no wife is perfect.
Because a wife will only have 90% of what you're looking for.
So adultery takes place when a husband looks for the missing 10%.
Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha..." Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your wife is the quiet type (a rare find), your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host like Oprah.
But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90% that you already have! That's not all. Add to your wife's 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about life! About your jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your prayer groups. About your lifestyles.
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing?
"They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!" I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip!
Don't live your life like that.
Forget about what the world says is first class. (Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they're not riding in a private Lear Jet?)
My main message: If you start thanking God for what you have right now, wherever you are is first class!
You have wealth under your nose. Thank Him.
By Bo Sanchez From his book: You Have the Power to Create
Maan @ 11:35 PM
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I got lost and I can't see clearly
Last saturday, I got lost thrice.
First, I got lost on my way to Maita's house. I've been going to her place since I was in high school. But last saturday, I got lost. Literally. I was already driving along Pasong Tamo and I knew that I just needed to go straight and turn left as soon as I see Inquirer. But for some strange reason, I got totally confused and turned right at Bagtikan. I realized that I'm going the wrong way but it was too late. I reached Maita's place after about 15 - 20 minutes of driving around in circles because Makati is so full of one way streets!
I haven't seen Maita for the longest time. It was nice seeing her again and talking to her and telling her everything. It felt good. It was my therapy. I remember when we were in college, we would talk everyday on the phone. Every single day. We never ran out of things to say. I guess I have to say that Maita kept me sane. She would listen to me, she would give her advice if I ask for it, but she never really judged me. She just tells me and she still tells me, "Ganyan ka naman talaga eh." and I felt like she understood. Amidst all the chaos and confusion going on around me, I know that I have a friend I can run to.
Unfortunately, I had to leave because I had to go to Podium to have dinner with the Kutings for the birthday celebration of Jo, Claude and Vivian. On my way to Podium, I got lost again. Damn!
Ang dami kong nasayang na gas! Fortunately, I found my way again and I was in such a hurry because I didn't want to be late and I have been to Podium only once. Thanks to Karen and her directions, I got there on time. Went I got to UCC, Joanna, Ryan and Vivian were already there. After a few minutes of small talk, I told them, "Oo nga pala. Break na kami." And in unison, they all said, "ANO!!!". Their reaction was priceless and quite funny. Then Karen and Janice came followed by Claude and Abby. We had a wonderful time reminscing about my sinful college days while eating our equally sinful desserts...
Maan: Ganito ba ako nung college? Baliw? Psychotic?
Karen: Hindi naman. Konti lang.
Maan: Oo nga. Hindi naman ako nabaliw dun kay Mike diba? Di ko nga sya nababanggit eh. Di ko maalalang pinag-uusapan natin sya.
Karen: Anung hindi nababanggit? Eh imbis na mag-aral tayo sa conservatory, sya pinag-uusapan natin. Sino nga pala yung kinantahan ka...
Maan singing: What you need is somebody warm like me... Si Mike nga yun.
Karen: Tama! Somebody Warm Like Me.
Maan: Yuck! Oh well. Nabigyan naman nya ako ng cellphone so OK lang.
Karen: Yung cellphone mo na di mo alam kung paano hihinaan ang ringtone!
Maan: Oo nga! Thanks to Jo, nalaman ko kung paano.
We got to talk about my past cellphones and laugh about the stories about them. Ang first cellphone ko na Motorola na nagsa-skandalo dahil di namin alam kung paano hinaan ang ring volume. Ang Nokia 5110 ko na binili ng Papa ko para sa akin at nag-cut ako ng classes para makuha.
After cellphones, we got to talk about the bad news boys who came into my life which none of them obviously liked...
Karen: Naalala mo dati kumakain tayo sa Mcdo para lang makakuha ka ng raffle stub at manalo ng Revo na gusto mong gamitin para banggain si Prudence na Ex ni Joseph?
Maan: Hahaha! Oo, naaalala ko. Kadiri ah. As in di ko na maalala yung guy na yun noh. Kayo nalang nakakaalala.
Karen: Paano ba naman di namin maaalala? Ang psycho mo nun at tumaba kami dahil sa kabaliwan mo. Oo nga pala, sabi ko sa Achi ko virgin ka pa and wala naman nangyari sa inyo ni Chai.
Maan: Yuck talaga! Wala talagang nangyari. Shet nasusuka ako! Dapat lang sabihin mo sa Achi mo na virgin ako at walang nangyari samin ng lalakeng yon!
Karen: Pero ang pinakabaliw mo na ginawa is yung pinadala mo samin yung picture ng girlfriend ng crush mo at tinatanong mo kung maganda sya. Hindi nalang ako nag-comment kasi naaasar ako sayo! Hindi naman lahat physical noh.
Maan: Alam ko. Gusto ko lang malaman kung sino sa amin ang maganda. So maganda ba sya?
Karen: Hindi sya maganda ok. Simple lang.
Maan: Yes! Mas maganda ako sa kanya!
Karen: Hindi ko sinabi yun ah.
Maan: Ah ganon! Panget ako!
Karen: Hay Maan. Di ko sinasabi yan.
And we talked some more and reminsced about the past and thought about the future may bring us. We left UCC at around 11:30 PM. Thus I got lost for the third time that day. I had to ask for help from the guards/police roaming Ortigas on motorbikes to show me the way to Edsa so I can go home.
I got home at around 12:30AM, logged in to check my mail and my blog and I got to chat with Red for a short time. As usual, I can't help but feel sad and to cry about our current situation. Hopefully things will get better. I slept at around 2AM and I woke up past 12NN just to eat my lunch then I slept again. I watched some TV and read the book I borrowed from Tina titled "In her Shoes". While reading, I noticed that the letters are blurry and I can't seem to read the words. I had to wear my glasses so I can read. Right now I am wearing my glasses while making this entry.
I'm lost and I can't see clearly. I am confused and I don't know what I want or what I need. I know that I already have the things and the people I need to make me happy but it seems like I'm wanting the wrong things and the wrong people. My life, to an outsider, is quite good... almost perfect.
Quoting from someone I know, "Maan, ikaw ang gumagawa ng sarili mong multo at ako naman ang pumapatay para sa iyo."
You're right about one thing.
Ako gumagawa ng sarili kong multo. Pero hindi ikaw ang pumapatay para sakin. Ako rin naman. Kasi wala ka naman.'Do you wanna run away together?'
I would say it was your best line ever.
Too bad I fell for it...And I walked along,
Waiting for you to come along.
Take my tortured heart by the hand.
And write me off.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...
You forced me to become strong.
And I just cried, being weak.
And you think you know.
And I would like to think so,
But do you know that when you go,I fall apart.
--- The Good Kind, The Wreckers
Maan @ 10:13 PM
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Nalulungkot ako...
...kapag nakaka-chat kita. Pero di ko naman mapigilan sarili ko na di makipag-chat sayo kapag nakikita ko na online ka.
...kapag nagkikita tayo. Pero di ko mapigil na di ka yayain mag-coffee or mag-dinner.
...kapag kailangan ko na umalis at kailangan mo na rin umuwi.
...dahil ako may gusto nito.
...dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto ko.
...kasi malungkot ka rin.
Maan @ 1:39 AM
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
So sleepy...
But before I go to sleep and call it a day, I just have to blog about this before I completely forget that I want to blog about it.
For today...
... I got a phone call from Papa. I told him that I am seriously thinking of applying for a US tourist VISA because I want to go to SF on October. I want to celebrate Halloween there as well as Autumn in New York. I have one problem though. I still don't have enough money for the airfare. Thus Papa graciously offered to pay for it. Yoohoo!
... I was able to chat with Kartika and tell her that I might be there this October. She told me to stay for good but I told her that I love Manila and I will be leaving my heart in Manila and not in San Francisco.
... I asked Leny for tips on how to apply for a VISA. I need to download a form through the net and go to Citibank and pay $100 for another form. I also need to prepare my supporting documents as well as ask permission from my boss if I can take my leave. I'm not sure if I am allowed to leave for a month. If not, I'm praying for 2-3 weeks.
... I had lunch with Trexyl at Banana Leaf in Glorietta 4.
... I watched "Nasaan Ka Man" starring Claudine Barretto, Diether Ocampo and Jericho Rosales at WalterMart Makati with Leny.
... I got home at around 12MN and now I am so sleepy but also very hungry.
Will write more tomorrow. I need to wake up real early for my class.
Maan @ 1:25 AM
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Friday, June 24, 2005
The Ultimate Love Story
My college classmate sent this article to our yahoogroups last September 22, 2003. Her boyfriend, our classmate, is an engineer. Kartika also sent me this article about a year ago. Her boyfriend is also an engineer. Almost five years ago, I fell in love with an engineer...
----
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.
The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings,
I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite,
his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocked.
"I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.
My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?
And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"
He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...."
My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....
My dear,
"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.."
This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you
jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and
die.. "
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... And as I continue on reading...
"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk... "
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...
That's life, and love.
When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... And that's our life... Love, not words win arguments...
----
... and I still love him until now. But like the woman in the article,
I yearn for the romantic moments like a little girl yearning for candy. Immaturity on my part, I have to admit. But what can I do? I cannot control how I feel. So I made one of the biggest decisions in my life... I asked for space and time to think.
I used to ask him, "Why do people cheat on the ones they love?"
And his answer was plain and simple, "Because everyone is searching for their ultimate love story."
Maybe I am looking for my ultimate love story. Or maybe I am already living my ultimate love story. It's just that it needed some twists and turns to make it more exciting and fun.
A lot of people have been telling me that the 'spark' will eventually fade in every relationship. The important thing is that the person you are with loves you, respects you, will be there for you through better or for worse, sickness or health, till death do you part.
I agree. But right now, I am immature. I am selfish. I cannot live without the kilig moments... the spark which makes every relationship exciting. I agree that it fades away but I do not agree that it will never come back.
I have no regrets with regard to the decisions I have made. I took the risk and was fully aware of the consequences that such risks may bring. I guess my only regret was hurting the people I care about. Relationships have been destroyed and I am hoping they can be fixed. When it would happen and if it would happen, only God knows.
Maan @ 12:05 AM
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
Daddy's Girl
I cannot remember celebrating Father's Day with my dad.
Understandable since my parents separated when I was 6 and my mom raised us, my brother and I, all by herself.
But even if my dad left us, I feel no anger or hatred towards him.
Walang halong biro. In fact, when I think of my dad, I can only think of happy memories which I have with him. I have enough bad vibes when it comes to my dad from my mom and brother. But that's a totally different story and would require a different entry.
Here's some stuff which I fondly remember about my Papa...
When he gets home really late at night, about midnight, he would wake me up and invite me to go to Burger Machine which was just in front of our house in BF Homes. He would order a burger for me and a root beer. I remember feeling like an adult because I was drinking root beer. I thought it was beer. I remember that we would talk about stuff... I'm sure they're nonsense... but it was our bonding moments. Now every time I pass by Burger Machine, especially at night, I am reminded of these moments with him.
My dad is my very first date to the movies. The movie I remember watching with him in a movie house was
The Neverending Story. I remember crying while watching this movie because of a horse that got stuck in quicksand.
My dad loves going out during the weekends. My mom never went with us, she'd rather stay home so it would be just me, my brother and my dad. He would bring us to Luneta, Manila Zoo and this very big playground in Manila.
He bought me really cool books and toys. Most, if not all, of my favorite fairy tale books came from my dad. I had the VTEC mini computer which taught me how to spell (thanks to Hangman), add, subtract, multiply and a whole lot more. We had this small robot casette player, Disney books with matching tapes, a 'videocam' of Gummy Bears and other toys which I cannot remember.
According to my mom, my dad is very
kuripot. My dad also hates
utang and credit cards. He'd rather pay in cash. I seldom ask for anything from my dad, especially for financial help. But when I do, I am not disappointed. When I asked for help for my college tuition, daily allowance and thesis expense, he gave it to me without any hesitation. It's a different story for my brother, again that would be a different entry.
He tolerates my bratiness. This has been tested when I was 19 years old and I wanted a new cellphone - specifically a Nokia 5110.
He listens to my advice. Believe it or not, I am the one who gives advice to my dad.
----
When I was about 9 or 10, that was when I knew that my parents have 'officially' separated and will never get back together. I used to cry at night because of that. I remember my mom getting angry at me and telling me, "Iniiyakan mo yang tatay mo! Iniwan nga tayo nyan!"
I wasn't crying because I miss my dad. I've fully adjusted to life without a father during that time. I was crying because I know that my dad misses us and the thought of him being alone and lonely makes me sad.
My dad could be the worst husband ever. My mom and my brother hate his guts. He is also not the world's perfect father. He has his shortcomings and mistakes. But inspite of that, I still love my dad and pray for him every night. I pray that he finds happiness, that he may be truly happy. To have no regrets in life, to live life and enjoy each moment.
I have learned that just because a person does not love you the way you want them to, it does not mean they do not love you will all they have.
Maan @ 12:34 PM
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
The Meantime Girl
She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh.
She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend.She's NOT the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night.
She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light.
She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by.
She's too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her.
She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.
It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you.
She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went.
She's just so cool . . . why can't all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair.
You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off.Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell.
Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.
So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd.
She's safe.
She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room.
But she wants to turn someone's head.
She wants to be special to someone, too.
We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot.
And someday we won't be around.----Hard as it may be to admit, but I have been a Meantime Girl.
But I also have to say that I have
no regrets.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you meet a lot of wrong people so they can direct you to the right one.
Maan @ 11:28 PM
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
Wouldn't be nice...
Tomorrow is another day.
And I will pretend that everything is bright and sunny and go through the motions.
I will go through my everyday routines. Routines... what I hate the most will save me from going crazy.
So I will wake up tomorrow morning, brush my teeth, take a shower, put on my make up and get ready for work.
I will drive myself to the office and tune in to Chico and Delamar and laugh out loud over their Top Ten.
I will stay away from listening to love songs while driving.
When I get to the office, I will invite Leng, Leny, Aga or Connie for coffee.
I will open my PC, open my Winamp and my Trillian and wait for Kartika or Marianne or PJ to buzz me so we can talk about our day and our lives like we weren't a hundred miles apart.
I will go through my work and hope I finish everything that I need to do for the day.
Then at around 6PM, if I'm not yet tired and I'm still up for it, I will have dinner with my college friends or go out with Leny to drink even if I don't drink.
If not, I'll just drive home, take a shower, brush my teeth, put on my retainers, watch a little TV, sleep and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
----
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake upIn the morning when the day is newAnd after having spent the day togetherHold each other close the whole night throughHappy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let's talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
--- Wouldn't it be nice, The Beach Boys
Maan @ 11:04 PM
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River
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handleI'm selfish and I'm sadNow I've gone and lost the best babyThat I ever hadOh I wish I had a riverI could skate away onI wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
--- River, Joni Mitchell
Maan @ 6:52 PM
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Joe's Love Story
Accounting class.
I arrived in class at around 7PM. My class starts at 6PM. I'm late and I really don't care.
The thought of balance sheets and income statements is scaring the hell out of me. This is definitely one subject wherein I cannot just daydream the 3 hours away and still expect a high grade during course card day. For this subject, I need to concentrate on the teacher and on the topic and give my 100%.
But today... I cannot give my 100%.
During our 15-minute break, I cannot help but spill my guts out to Thea and cry over my ham sandwich which I wasn't able to finish. Afterwards, I just didn't feel that hungry after all and another bite would cause me to puke. So instead of my sandwich going to waste, I gave it to Thea instead.
On my way home, Thea, Sarah and Joe rode with me up to Pasay Road. While driving, we came to talking....
Maan: Na-feel nyo na ba yung mawala yung spark sa relationship nyo kahit na mahal na mahal mo naman sya?
Joe: Been there, done that.
Maan: Ano? Kwento ka naman!
Thea: Ay alam ko yang kwento na yan. First bonding moment namin ni Joe, yun ang kwento nya. Diba yan yung sa UST?
Maan: Bonding moment? Kelan yan?
Joe: Yung Infoman class natin. Nag-cut kami ng class and nag-bonding kami.
Maan: Teka teka teka. Classmates tayo nun ah. Nasaan ako nun?
Joe: Eh di nandun sa classroom...
Maan: Nasa classroom lang ako? Nabubulok dun kasama si Marianne! Anyway, balik sa spark...
Joe: Yung spark na yan, ang hirap talaga kapag nawala na.
Maan: Pero pwede naman mabalik yung spark diba?
Joe: Para sa akin hindi na mababalik yun.
Maan: Bawiin mo yan Joe! Nababalik ang spark. Hindi pwedeng hindi.
Thea: Wag kang makinig kay Joe.
Sarah: Joe, wag ka na nga lang sumabay.
Maan: O sya. Ikwento mo na...
And Joe started to tell his love story. How he had this girlfriend for 3 years who studied in UST. On their 3rd anniversary, he decided to surprise her by visiting her in school bringing flowers. Yun pala sya ang na-surprise. He saw his girlfriend with another guy. Ang sweet nila... more than friends. So nagwala si Joe sa gitna ng UST....
We got to Pasay Road even before Joe can finish his story. Nabitin kaming lahat.
So this means, there will be a continuation... Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.
Maan @ 11:45 PM
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
If A Man Wants You
From: Leny
To: Fleet Girls
Subject: FW: How to date a man...
Sent: Tue 6/14/2005 10:35 AM
----
Maan/Leng,
This is for you...
Leny :)
If A Man Wants UIf a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other friends ..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
----
6/F Pantry... while making coffee...Leng: Binabalikan ako ni Albert.
Maan: Yes. Heaven ka na ba? So babalikan mo nga.
Leng: Hindi noh. Maghirap muna sya. Pag ako bumabalik hirap na hirap ako. Dapat sya din!
Maan: Good! Sinusunod mo na talaga ang The Rules. Tama yan. Pahirapan mo sya.
Maan @ 7:30 PM
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Monday, June 13, 2005
Fall to Pieces
I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
T oday's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
And I don't wanna fall to piecesI just want to sit and stare at youI don't want to talk about itAnd I don't want a conversationI just want to cry in front of youI don't want to talk about itCuz I'm in Love with youYou're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everythingI'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
--- Fall to Pieces, Avril Lavigne----
Maan: Nuod naman tayo ng concert ni Norah Jones. (sabay play ng mp3 ng "Don't Know Why" to set the mood and hopefully maenganyo si Leny manuod)
Leny: Pwede. Ano ba songs nya?
Maan: Don't Know Why and Come Away With Me
Leny: Ano pa?
Maan: Yun lang alam ko eh.
Leny: Yun lang? Eh kung Avril Concert nalang?
Maan: Avril? Rock ka na ngayon? Di naman kaya magkagulo sa concert ni Avril...
Leny: Sige na please. Avril.
Maan: Ayoko. Gusto ko Norah Jones.
-----
Now I wish I went to Avril's concert. Next time...
----
Coffee at Gloria Jean's? Awful. Nothing beats Starbucks. But I guess it's really not the coffee but the company.
Maan @ 11:28 PM
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Thursday, June 09, 2005
Changes
Latest skin... Paris Hilton.
I am hoping that there won't be any problems with this skin because I'm tired of looking for a new one. I'm still thinking if I should add a tagboard or not. At least my comments are in place and my links, though incomplete, are already in.
----
I arrived here in the office at around 6:30 AM because thursday is my coding day. I had to wake up at 5:00 AM so I can get here before 7AM. How I wish someone could just bring me to the office every thursday so I won't have to wake up really early.
----
10 million things to do but I don't know where to start.
----
Mr. & Mrs. Smith opened in cinemas yesterday. Should I watch it today or tomorrow? It's up to Red. I guess I'll just wait for his text.
Maan @ 7:50 AM
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Grammar 101
Business and Communications Class. Saturdays. 0830 - 1130. DLSU Taft.
I love grammar class. But this schedule is just killing me. I am just not a morning person. So what could be more worse than getting up early on a saturday morning for 3 months? So I skipped the first saturday class and I missed all the fun of introducing myself to the class.
And so I thought.
When I got to class, the professor asked the late comers or those who were absent during the last meeting to stand up and introduce themselves to the class by stating their name, undergrad course, school graduated from, present company, job position, reason for being absent during the first day and motto.
Since I can't think and I refuse to think of an excuse why I was absent, here's what I said...
"Good morning everyone! I see a lot of familiar faces. I am Angela Isaac but you can call me Maan for short. "
Then I stated my undergrad course and school as well as where I work and my job position.
"So why was I absent last week?"
And my mind went blank. Where was I last saturday? I can't remember. Or I just refuse to remember? Selected Amnesia perhaps?
So I just said, "I have no excuse nor valid reason for being absent. I was stressed with work and I had to deal with some personal issues. I promise that I will redeem myself today."
So I and Trexyl (who was also absent) tried our best to redeem ourselves. To prove to our professor and the whole class that we're not bad students. That we give our 100%. But sometimes our best is just not good enough...
Use the noun '
repute' in a sentence
Trex: Repute? Ano yung
repute?
Maan: Ewan. Alam ko reputable.
Trex: Shet nakakahiya tayo. Di natin alam ang
repute.Different stresses in a sentence
Trex: I-stress mo daw yung stole. So ganito... I did not say you STOLE my husband...
Maan: Trex para kang tanga. Ano yan? Ang panget. Dapat ganito... I did not say you STOLE my husband... I just borrowed him.
Trex: Pwede, pwede. O ano yung next word? Dapat yung makaka-relate ka ah.
Maan: Ulul!
Use 'content' in a sentence
Maan: I am happy and contented with my boyfriend.
Maan: OK ba Trex? Tama ba?
Trex: Tama!
Maan: Are you happy and contented with YOUR boyfriend?
Trex: Of course.
Maan: OK. Good for you.
---
I miss Marianne. I miss her more during class. I miss eating with her during our 15-minute breaks which we extend to 30 minutes. I miss telling her, "Gutom na gutom ako! Kain tayo." and writing silly stuff on her notebook like, "Hi Marianne. Kain tayo!" or asking her where we would eat and what we would order. Hay.
Buti nalang nandyan si Trexyl. Trex, you are my saviour. Without you, mapapanis ang laway ko sa Busscom. Wish we were also classmates in my Finacc class.
---
Trex: Maan, stop na.
Maan: You're right. Stop na.
Trex: Let's stop na.
Maan: I know.
---
You remainMy power, my pleasure, my pain, babyTo me you're like a grown addiction that I can't denyWon't you tell me if it's healthy, baby?--Kiss from a Rose, Seal
Maan @ 9:00 PM
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Monday, June 06, 2005
Under Renovation
My PC broke down just when I'm overhauling the lay-out of my blog.
Everything's gone.
I can't remember my links.
I can't remember how to put my tag board, my comments, and my Sex and the City Random Quotes.
Bear with me and my pink lay-out which I got from Blogger.
Marianne, what's the URL of Dude's blog? What's the URL of your blog? =)
Maan @ 1:15 PM
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Friday, June 03, 2005
Stay by Cueshe
I believe
We shouldn't let the moment pass us by
Life's too short
We shouldnt wait for the water to run dry
Think about it cause
We only have one shot at destiny
All I'm asking
Could it possibly be you and me?
So if you'd still go, I'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you'll stay, I'll hold your hand 'Cause I'm truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Time has come for us to go our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today
I feel so cold
Feel so numb
I'm having nightmares but I'm awake
Help me Lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away
So if you'd still go, I'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you'll stay, I'll hold your hand
Cause I'm truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Now that you're gone, I'm all alone
I'm still hoping that you would come back home
Dont care how long, but I'm willing to wait
Cause I'm truly, madly, crazily in love with you
---
Maan: Hon, meron akong new song na gusto. Stay by Cueshe. C-U-E-S-H-E. Alam mo ba yun?
Red: Parang hindi.
Maan: Basta slightly rock sya. Pinoy band from Cebu. Ganito yung lyrics...
Maan singing: But if you'll still go, I'll understand (with matching head bang para feel talaga na rock song)
Red: Ah parang narining ko na yan.
Maan: O basta yun na yun.
Maan @ 9:48 AM
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What women want
Thursday morning, I rode the Makati Shuttle going to the office since I can't bring my car due to coding. That means I don't have to drive and I can listen intently to Chico and Delamar. But as usual, in the middle of The Morning Rush, I fell asleep. When I woke up, we were already along Dela Rosa, and Delamar was talking and she said:
What a woman wants is for her man to prove to her everyday that she made the right choice.
I agree.
If all men can do this, then all women will be content and happy.
Maan @ 12:09 AM
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