Thursday, June 23, 2005
Daddy's Girl
I cannot remember celebrating Father's Day with my dad.
Understandable since my parents separated when I was 6 and my mom raised us, my brother and I, all by herself.
But even if my dad left us, I feel no anger or hatred towards him.
Walang halong biro. In fact, when I think of my dad, I can only think of happy memories which I have with him. I have enough bad vibes when it comes to my dad from my mom and brother. But that's a totally different story and would require a different entry.
Here's some stuff which I fondly remember about my Papa...
When he gets home really late at night, about midnight, he would wake me up and invite me to go to Burger Machine which was just in front of our house in BF Homes. He would order a burger for me and a root beer. I remember feeling like an adult because I was drinking root beer. I thought it was beer. I remember that we would talk about stuff... I'm sure they're nonsense... but it was our bonding moments. Now every time I pass by Burger Machine, especially at night, I am reminded of these moments with him.
My dad is my very first date to the movies. The movie I remember watching with him in a movie house was
The Neverending Story. I remember crying while watching this movie because of a horse that got stuck in quicksand.
My dad loves going out during the weekends. My mom never went with us, she'd rather stay home so it would be just me, my brother and my dad. He would bring us to Luneta, Manila Zoo and this very big playground in Manila.
He bought me really cool books and toys. Most, if not all, of my favorite fairy tale books came from my dad. I had the VTEC mini computer which taught me how to spell (thanks to Hangman), add, subtract, multiply and a whole lot more. We had this small robot casette player, Disney books with matching tapes, a 'videocam' of Gummy Bears and other toys which I cannot remember.
According to my mom, my dad is very
kuripot. My dad also hates
utang and credit cards. He'd rather pay in cash. I seldom ask for anything from my dad, especially for financial help. But when I do, I am not disappointed. When I asked for help for my college tuition, daily allowance and thesis expense, he gave it to me without any hesitation. It's a different story for my brother, again that would be a different entry.
He tolerates my bratiness. This has been tested when I was 19 years old and I wanted a new cellphone - specifically a Nokia 5110.
He listens to my advice. Believe it or not, I am the one who gives advice to my dad.
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When I was about 9 or 10, that was when I knew that my parents have 'officially' separated and will never get back together. I used to cry at night because of that. I remember my mom getting angry at me and telling me, "Iniiyakan mo yang tatay mo! Iniwan nga tayo nyan!"
I wasn't crying because I miss my dad. I've fully adjusted to life without a father during that time. I was crying because I know that my dad misses us and the thought of him being alone and lonely makes me sad.
My dad could be the worst husband ever. My mom and my brother hate his guts. He is also not the world's perfect father. He has his shortcomings and mistakes. But inspite of that, I still love my dad and pray for him every night. I pray that he finds happiness, that he may be truly happy. To have no regrets in life, to live life and enjoy each moment.
I have learned that just because a person does not love you the way you want them to, it does not mean they do not love you will all they have.
Maan @ 12:34 PM
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