Kabaliwan ni Maan

Thursday, July 28, 2005
Aquarius Woman

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac.
She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.
Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do.
She is a leader , a real confident type.
She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself.
Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that.
If she starts to ask you out, do not think she's starting to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one to ask.
She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to have many men wanting her.
She is a daring type who could just do things differently from other people in her same society. She dares to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.
Even if she acts confident, she mostly feels lonely and alone.
If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony.
Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".
She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her.
She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guys.
She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same.
She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.
She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject.
She is the straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face.
Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say's "It's over", be prepare to leave because she is not testing you.
She is not the vulnerable type, so youdo not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you.
Do not keep secrets from her, she hates it and can really piss her badly.
When she is sad , be understanding.
When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that.
You will not get bore with this type of girl.
Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold-hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman.
She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you.
Do not let her talk alone, if you do she will leave.
She has many types of jobs because she believes what a man can do, she can do.
If you want her to work for you, forget it.
When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again.
Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK.
If she's mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here!
Her bad temper will last very shortly though.
She is not the revenge type and will not think of "pay back" time.
Most people might think of her as "One of the guys", but in fact she is a 100% woman.
She is easily hurt, so be nice to her.
If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is honest and truthful and will never bore you.
Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

---
I got this from a forwarded e-mail. I forgot who sent it. So my apologies if there are grammatical errors. Nag-edit na ako ng iba dyan.

Is this a good description of my personality or is this a good description of my personality? Sapul na sapul yung description!

Other Aquarius People: Mama, Lynch, and Rose May

Hhmm... Ang layo naman ng ugali ko sa kanila ah.

Maan @ 11:14 PM
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I'm not a CPA, I'm an engineer

I hate accounting. Really. Yes, it involves numbers just like major engineering courses but it's just different. There's too many rule, too many things to remember.

This is my last term in PGDM and my subjects are Business Communications and Financial Accounting. Honestly, I dread accounting. Even during college, I already had a hard time with the balance sheets and the income statements. I am so scared of accounting that I cannot dare to be absent in class. But that's all the effort that I do for this course.

My books are only opened once a week - during class. I have never studied for a quiz or an exam. In fact, I believe I failed that 2 quizzes that we had. I usually space out during lectures that Thea has to whisper, "Maan, listen!" Then I would answer, "Huh? Galing mo ah. Alam mo na di ako nakikinig." In clas, I space out for 30 minutes or so and try to listen for the next hour and then when the professor pauses even for a split second, I say in a loud voice, "Break, break!" Then we would go for a 30-minute break. Then I start listening for the remaining hour.

This has been the pattern for each and every accounting class. Thus it was a BIG SURPRISE when our Midterm Exams were given to us and I GOT THE HIGHEST GRADE!

I got 76/85! 9 mistakes! Truthfully, I wanted to talk to our professor about my exam because I think that there were portions which I should have gotten a perfect score. But what the heck! I also have to say that the other person who got a 76 is my good friends, Sarah, who is a CPA! Woohoo!!! The great thing about it is that I DIDN'T STUDY AT ALL!!!

Oh well. There's still half of the term. I think our group needs to do one more reporting. There are still a handful of quizzes which I need to pass and there's also the Final Exam. I am hoping that this is not just luck.

Maan @ 11:02 PM
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
For all the boys I've loved before

I seldom listen to Papa, but he told me something that really hit me. He said, "Don't be a fool in love."

I remember the boy and I still remember the feelings. But one of these days, I will be able to forget.

----

There was a time when I thought life was over and out
When you went away from me
My dying heart made it hard to breathe
Would sit in my room
Because I didn't want to go out and see you walking by
One look and I'd break down and cry

Now you say that you made a big mistake
Never meant to take your love away
But you can save your tired apologies
Cause it may seem hard to belive but

I'm doin just fine
Getting along every well without you in my life
I don't need you in my life
I'm doin just fine
Time made me stronger you're no longer on my mind

You were my earth
My number one priority
I gave my love to only you
Anything you'd ask of me I would do
But somewhere down the road
You felt a change in the weather
and told me that you had to journey on
a kiss in the wind and your love was gone

Now you say you never meant to play your games
Boy you don't know
It's far too late
Because you let our love just fall apart
You no longer have my heart

When you said goodbye I felt so all alone
There were times at night I couldn't sleep
My heart was much too weak to make it on my own
Baby after all the misery and pain you put me through
So unfair to me boy
You're no longer my world and I ain't missin' you at all

See baby when you walked away
You didn't think it would end up this way
but I knew you'd come around someday
Just as sure as my name is Wanya

--- Doin' Just Fine, Boyz II Men

Maan @ 12:48 AM
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Monday, July 25, 2005
Playing Psychiatrist

I love diagnosing my symptoms. One time when I was in college, I went to the school clinic to talk to the doctor to tell him that I am experiencing allergic reactions and that he should prescribe me something for it. He told me, "So where did you study medicine?" Ass!

Anyway, back to the topic...

Have you ever heard of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD?

I think I have a mild version of it.

Below is an overview of ADHD:

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition that becomes apparent in some children in the preschool and early school years. It is hard for these children to control their behavior and/or pay attention. It is estimated that between 3 and 5 percent of children have ADHD, or approximately 2 million children in the United States. This means that in a classroom of 25 to 30 children, it is likely that at least one will have ADHD.

In fairness, never naman ako ganito. It wasn't hard for me to control my behavior. I think I was a pretty disciplined student. Yes, I had my share of punishments from teachers for being too noisy but it was just normal for a 6-year-old kid.

A child with ADHD faces a difficult but not insurmountable task ahead. In order to achieve his or her full potential, he or she should receive help, guidance, and understanding from parents, guidance counselors, and the public education system.

So kagabi sabi ko kay Mama, "Ma, may ADHD ako. Nabasa ko sa internet. Kelangan daw ng support and understanding from the parents. Understanding daw. You have to understand me." At ang sagot ng aking supportive Mama, "Tumigil ka nga! Naghanap ka na naman ng palusot para sa katigasan ng ulo mo at katamaran." Very supportive!

Now, let's look at the Symptoms:

The principal characteristics of ADHD are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

Hyperactive children always seem to be "on the go" or constantly in motion.
They dash around touching or playing with whatever is in sight, or talk incessantly.
Sitting still at dinner or during a school lesson or story can be a difficult task.
They squirm and fidget in their seats or roam around the room.
Or they may wiggle their feet, touch everything, or noisily tap their pencil.
Hyperactive teenagers or adults may feel internally restless.
They often report needing to stay busy and may try to do several things at once.

Impulsive children seem unable to curb their immediate reactions or think before they act. They will often blurt out inappropriate comments, display their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for the later consequences of their conduct.
Their impulsivity may make it hard for them to wait for things they want or to take their turn in games.
They may grab a toy from another child or hit when they're upset.
Even as teenagers or adults, they may impulsively choose to do things that have an immediate but small payoff rather than engage in activities that may take more effort yet provide much greater but delayed rewards.

Some signs of hyperactivity-impulsivity are:

Feeling restless, often fidgeting with hands or feet, or squirming while seated
Running, climbing, or leaving a seat in situations where sitting or quiet behavior is expected
Blurting out answers before hearing the whole question
Having difficulty waiting in line or taking turns.

I am guilty as charged of the above symptoms. Sabi nga ni Glenn sa akin, "Maan, di ka ba napapagod? Kanina ka pa nagsasalita? Lahat na yata ng tanong natanong mo na sa akin. Wag kang iinom ng tubig ah. Baka mapaos ka."

Seriously, I have no idea if I have ADHD. I'm pretty sure I don't have it. OA lang talaga ako. Or maybe I do have a mild case of ADHD. While reading the symptoms of ADHD, I can't help but tell myself, "Pucha! Ako nga ito ah!"

---

Hay! It's a holiday and I'm stuck here at home. I have a gazillion things to do but I don't want to do any of them. I actually don't know what to do but I know what I want. I want all my tasks to disappear all by itself which I know is impossible.

I think I better log off and start writing my article about our new Bacolod Dealer so I can scratch off that one in my To-Do List.

---

So what do you think? May ADHD ba ako?

Maan @ 5:06 PM
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Saturday, July 23, 2005
Laking Mcdo

1996: Me and Maita at Mcdonald's DLSU Taft sharing a caramal sundae

Mcdonald's has been a part of my life. I remember my Mama bringing me and my brother to Mcdonald's in Harrisson Plaza during the weekends. It was such a treat! Going to Mcdonald's was a special event for me when I was a kid.

I grew up eating Mcdonald's. It's a good thing I did not turn out to be an obese kid. When I was in college and Mama decided not to get a replacement for our maid who left for the province, she would usually leave us lunch money during the weekends so we can just buy our lunch in Mcdonald's. I would be the one to go to Mcdonald's BF Homes to buy the chicken and spaghetti meal for me and my brother. This would be our lunch almost every saturday and I felt like such a lucky kid! Mcdonald's for lunch!

I also ate at Mcdonald's during my 5 years in college due to a number of reasons. Mcdonald's is near DLSU, the food is tasty and cheap. As early as 7PM, as soon as the store opened, I would hang out in Mcdo with Jas and her classmates/barkada. We would order one large fries which will be shared by the whole group - para lang maka-tambay kami sa Mcdo ng 'di pinapaalis.

Lunch time, Mcdonald's na naman. While waiting for our sundo, we would wait in Mcdo. Whenever my classmates would ask me to write their reaction paper or help them out with their speech, they would repay me by buying me a cheeseburger meal.

Now that I am already working, I still love Mcdonald's. I love the cheeseburger, Big Mac, the Chicken and especially the fries. The fries - I can dip this into gravy, mayonaisse, bbq sauce or sundae. One time when I went out with Jas and Bless (both Kulasas and Lasalistas) and one of their girl friends, we went to Mcdonald's in Greenhills to grab a bite after watching Nyoy Volante. I instantly ordered for a Cheeseburger Meal and gravy. I started dipping my fries into my gravy when Jas' friend reacted, "Fries with gravy? Diba weird?" And I replied, "Huh? Anung weird? Fries go with gravy. How can you eat fries without gravy?" Then Bless replied, "Maan, hindi sya La Salle. Hindi nya alam yan."

Yesterday, 22 July 2005, I invited Maita to have dinner with me. I told her that I would fetch her then we could go out for coffee since I wasn't hungry. She said that she had to bring Zachary, her son, along with us because she didn't have a yaya. Of course at first I didn't want Zach to go with us because Maita's attention would be divided between me and Zach. Umiral na naman ang pagka-possessive and selosa ko. But since we can't do anything about it, I had to concede. We ended up having dinner in Mcdonald's Greenbelt.

I am already working and earning my own money. I can eat in Italianni's, CPK, Friday's or any other resto in Greenbelt but I ended up having dinner on a friday night in Mcdonald's. It wasn't such as bad thing. I enjoyed the company of Maita and Zach. Maita even said, "When we were college kids, we ate at Mcdo. Now that I have a kid, we are still eating at Mcdo." I guess we've come full circle.

When I was young, I wanted so much to have a party at Mcdonald's. But it never happened. So if and when I get married and have kids of my own, I'm sure that I'll be bringing them to Mcdonald's also. Truth is, I'm already planning that the birthday party of my kid when s/he turns 3 years old will be celebrated at Mcdonald's.

Maan @ 2:26 AM
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Thursday, July 21, 2005
Bed Weather Week

Since monday, the weather has been very conducive to sleeping and just staying home. I hope that the weather would be like this until Sunday. Hassle nga lang ang ulan.

Yesterday, Mama borrowed my car so I took the public transportation to and from work. The good thing about taking public transportation, aside from not driving, is that I am able to sleep during the commute. Ang sarap! I slept on my way to the office and I slept on my way home. Since I didn't have a car, I decided to leave early - 7 PM. I got home at around 9PM and automatically got the remote. I was surprised that I have missed a lot of prime time TV. I started channel surfing then stopped at AXN to watch CSI.

In the middle of watching CSI, the inevitable commercials came. So I surfed for a while. Of course Mama was there and she had something to say about it...

Mama: Ano ba talaga ang pinapanuod mo?
Maan: CSI.
Mama: Eh bat lipat ka ng lipat?
Maan: Eh kasi commercial pa. Ayoko ng commercial.
Mama: Akin na nga yang remote. Ako ang nanunuod eh.
Maan: Ha? Anung ikaw? Lumabas ka na ng kwarto at bumaba ka. Hindi mo ba alam yung TV RULE?
Mama: Ano?
Maan: The TV Rule. It states that if you leave the TV unattended for more than 30 minutes, you also waive your rights to the TV. So since ang tagal mong nawala, ako na ang nanunuod. Tanong mo pa kay Michael. Gusto mo tawagan natin sya?
Mama: Wala akong pakialam dyan sa TV rule nyo. Sa inyo lang yan applicable.
Maan: Ano! Hindi kaya. Ilipat na nga natin sa AXN. CSI na eh!

Paging my kapatid! Pwedeng paki-orient si Mama about the TV rule. Honestly, dapat nga sa akin hindi applicable ang TV rule na yan because I am paying for the TV, for the Dream Satellite and for the electricity bills. Hhmmm....

Anyway, after watching CSI, I was able to catch Blue Crush on HBO so I decided to watch it. The movie made me want to diet and exercise and go to the beach wearing a skimpy bikini. Oh well.
Then I got tired of it and decided to log into the internet.

Unfortunately, my PC won't work! Bad trip! I had to call Red and ask for his advice on what to do since my monitor is not responding at all. I took out the RAM card and the video card and placed it back again into the motherboard but it didn't solve the problem. So now I brought my PC again and I might just bring it to PC Express today.

Today is thursday which means it's my coding day. I woke up at exactly 5:40 AM which is already late. I was out the door by 6AM. The roads were already congested. I had to pray real hard that I make it to the office and not get caught by the MMDA or any Traffic Law Enforcer.

I made it and I got here at 7:30 AM. I called up Leny to ask where she is and invite her for coffee. While waiting for her, I decided to blog.

Anyway, I have to end this and start with my work.

Maan @ 7:57 AM
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
We can be heroes, just for one day

Identities of Super Heroes Finally Revealed!

Batman ... Jamming Jam
Robin ... Gavin the Great
Superman ... Ravishing Red
Wonder Woman ... Marvelous Maan

Guess the secret identity of Batman and Hawk Girl!

Maan @ 11:53 PM
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Am I living it right?

What is my typical day?

I would usually wake up at around 7AM. Truthfully, I should be waking up earlier than 7AM. I should be out of the house by 7AM so I can be at the office before 9AM. But my internet addiction gets the best of me so I stay up late until 1AM so waking up at 6AM is definitely a challenge.

It takes me about 30 minutes to get ready for work. An additional 15 minutes if I cannot decide what to wear. By the time I get into my car to drive to work, the traffic is already terrible. As much as I want to speed up to 100 - 110 kph, the traffic won't allow me. So I have to settle on driving on a stop-and-go pace which eats up most of my gas while I listen to Chico and Delamar and their Top 10. The moment I hear their last batch on the radio, I know I am already late for work again.

They say that the early bird catches the worm. But could it be that the late bird catches the early worm?

I am sorry but I am just not a morning person. Heaven for me would be waking up at around 6AM (if I have the strength to open my eyes and move) and eat breakfast which would consist of hot pandesal and hot chocolate. Then after eating, I would go back to bed to sleep until 10AM then wake up again to read a book or watch the TV without getting out of bed. Then at around noon, I will have my lunch then my day will begin.

Unfortunately, I do not have that luxury.

Going back to what my typical day would be...

By the time I get to the office at around 9 - 9:30 AM, a certain officemate of mine would berate me for being late. But I really don't care. I may arrive at around 9AM but I stay in the office until 9PM. Before I sit down to start my work, I need to get coffee. Coffee is my gasoline. I cannot work without coffee. So I work, rather, try to work. I try to do everything I can do before lunch time which is usually starts at around 11:30 AM.

The length of my lunch break would depend on who I am with and where I would eat. If I have lunch in the canteen, lunch is 30 minutes. If I eat out with my officemates, it would be 2 - 3 hours. If I eat out with Trexyl, it would be an hour.

Given that I would eat out with my officemates, I will be back in the office by 2PM and back to work again. I usually stay in the office until 9PM because I can work more efficiently when no one is around and everything's quiet. Just me, my PC, and my mp3s. At around 8:50 PM, I would start to pack up and get ready to go home. The thought of going home while the sun is still shining is totally foreign to me already. I haven't gone home that early for more than 6 months.

Around 9PM, I am already driving home. I get home at around 10PM. Just in time to freshen up and watch Oprah and do some bonding with Mama. I then log into the internet to check and update my blog, check my e-mail, check out other stuff, read my e-mails and download mp3s while chatting with friends and relatives. That is what I am doing right now.

At the end of the day, I am drained as hell. I cannot wait to take a vacation. To go someplace I haven't been before. To do something for the first time.

When will this much awaited dream vacation be a reality? I don't even have the time and the money to get a VISA application form.

Someone help me!

----

am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself

If I am living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

---Why Georgia, John Mayer

Maan @ 11:26 PM
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Sunday, July 17, 2005
Bittersweet things...

Words from ~carl (maker of 99 Secrets), image from PostSecret:

I miss you so much that sometimes it
just makes me stop, on the inside.
And die just a little bit more for you.

There's no great novel in me.
Just a life I can neither live nor regret.

"And you know the things we do
mean more to me than you..."

I hold you close,
your eyes moist with lies.

Maan @ 11:12 PM
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Planarity and Excel Quizzes on TV commercials

If you're a nerd like me and you love a challenge, check out this site: PLANARITY

I'm currently trying to figure out Level 5. Tell me your level.

For the not-too-nerdy, download this excel quiz to know how much you know about TV commercials. To download, right click on link and choose Save Target As... BREAKTIME TEST

*My apologies. Just found out that Tripod does not allow File Downloading thus the excel file cannot be download. I'm looking for a site which can host all my excel quizzes...

Speaking of TV Commercials, I remember the time when Cable TV was unheard of. The only channels available was 2, 4, 7, 9, & 13. During the summers, my brother would wake up at around 6AM and will immediately turn on the TV. Why do I know that it's 6AM? Because he would be watching "Name That Tune" on Channel 9 and I would see the time on the screen. We would usually fight about it as usual. I would scream at him to turn down the volume because I still want to sleep and I cannot sleep if it isn't totally quiet.

But then I will also get hooked with the show and start watching it also. This would go on for the whole summer which is 2 months of "Name That Tune" in the early mornings. Most of the time the shows will be replayed and my brother and I would already know the answer. Until today, I have no idea how the contestants can name a tune in one note only.

One of the things I cannot stand is TV commercials. I hate them. If I see it once, I don't want to see it again. But of course there are some exceptions...

Anyway, since I hate them so much but there's nothing I can do about it because the average commercial breaks is 5-6 minutes, which means 10-12 30-second commercials, my brother and I would play a guessing game - the Guess-the-commercial Game. I was never good in memorizing and memory retention so I usually lose in this game. This is one of the things where my brother can beat me. He can guess a commercial as soon as it pops into the TV screen.

Since we're already talking about TV commercials, I have to say that I do not hate ALL commercials. There are actually some commercials which bring tears to my eyes. Yes, pati commercials iniiyakan ko. One of my fave tearjerker commercial is the PLDT Christmas Commercial done in black and white. I think this was during 1996. The background music was "Malamig ang simoy ng hangin". And I swear to God that I would cry when this commercial is shown.

But now my favorite TV commercial is the Globe commercials. The one with the blue ribbons connecting each person.

To Globe: Your commercials make me cry. But you are also making me cry by not giving me a discounted price for your handsets. Naiiyak ako because I have been a loyal subscriber for more than 6 years. 6 years! I already have two lines under Globe and you can't even give me a handset on a discounted price. My Nokia 6610 is falling apart! I need a new cellphone!

Paging Thea! Thea, konti nalang, I'm going to switch to Smart. I love Globe and I love my cellphone number. I cannot let go of that number. I am attached to it. But if worse comes to worst, I really need to switch. As much as I hate to, I need to let go of my Globe number. Please Thea! Help me with this! Use your connections!

Maan @ 10:25 PM
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Friday, July 15, 2005
Patience is not a virtue of a crazy girl

I hate waiting. I hate getting bored. That is maybe one of the reasons why I am aggressive. I want things to happen quickly. I have a short attention span.

When watching TV and there are commercials, I need to have a book with me so I can do something during commercial breaks. If I don't have a book, I would channel surf. I cannot stay put in just one channel during commercials. If I don't have a book and I cannot channel surf because Mama has the control, I would look for other ways to occupy my time such as cutting my finger nails or organizing my closet.

When I was still riding the shuttle to and from work, I would always bring a book with me so I can read or my headsets so I listen to the built-in radio of my cellphone while waiting for a van or while travelling.

While driving, I cannot just drive. I need to have the radio on. I need to be able to station surf. If I get tired with what's playing on the radio, I pop a cd into the player. If the traffic is terrible and I'm tired of both the radio and my cds, I text people. If the people I'm texting takes more than a minute to reply, I start calling them to complain about the traffic and how late I am. Maybe this is one reason why I pay more than P3,000.00 for my cellphone bills as well as an additional P3,000.00 for participation fee to be paid to my car insurance.

At work, I cannot just work. I need to have my Winamp and my mp3s playing on the background. My Trillian should be running because when I get bored after every 5 minutes, I need to be able to chat with someone. Be it Trexyl, Leny, Tita Ciel, Kartika, Marianne, Joanne, Apple or Red. When I get my momentum back, then I start concentrating on my work again.

When it comes to relationships, I am also impatient. I want things to happen quickly. I want decisions to be made quickly. I usually decide where to eat and what to order or what movie to watch or where to go.

Now I am experiencing my quarter-life crisis. 'Expert's say that this is experienced by young people who move to fast and acquire too much too fast or accomplish too much too fast that they cannot or have a hard time feeling contentment.

But I don't feel as if I've accomplished anything or acquired anything. Maybe that's why I am having this crisis. Or maybe I am just going too fast. Maybe I need to slow down a bit. Smell the roses, enjoy the scenery.

So I can conclude that what I really need is a long and fruitful vacation.

A long and fruitful vacation in the USA or Bangkok or England.

Family and friends, please sponsor me! I need your financial help! Or else I will definitely and certifiably become crazy.

I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy
You turn it on
Then you're gone
Yeah you drive me
Crazy, crazy, crazy, for you baby
What can I do, honey
I feel like the color blue...

--- Crazy, Aerosmith

Maan @ 12:11 AM
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Thursday, July 14, 2005
Desperate Housewives... desperate me?

Since Sex and the City is now over, I have switched my attention to Desperate Housewives which is the Sex and the City for housewives/married women/single moms.

But first, let us define two words...

desperate adj. 1 reckless through despair. 2 extremely serious or dangerous.

despair n. complete lack of hope.

If that's what desparate and despair mean, then I am not desparate nor in despair.

I am a person filled with hope. I hope for the best but expect the worst.

I am hoping that the Philippines will be able to stand up amidst the chaos, confusion and corruption. I am hoping that I do not have to leave the country just so I can live comfortably and securely. I am hoping that our department will be able to reach our target by the end of the year. I am hoping that I will be able to do everything that I need to do. I am hoping for a lot of things. I am hoping that 100% of all the things I hope for will come true. If not, I will settle for 99%.

Back to Desperate Housewives, I am not totally hooked in this show. I can rarely relate. I am neither married nor a single mother. But I have to say that if I were to be a housewife, a desperate one, I might just be Gabriella.

Thus, I had to take one of those quizzes to confirm my belief. Below is the result:

You're Gabrielle

Like Gabrielle, you have a bit of a princess in you. You expect to have beautiful things, to be admired, to enjoy life - and magically, those things do happen. Your sense of entitlement attracts people who want to pamper and pet you. Best of all, your healthy sense of ego doesn't get in the way of close friendships for you. Leave the cat-fighting to other women (hello, Edie). The women in your life are friends, not rivals.

Just take care that your self-esteeming practices don't develop into self-centredness. Other people have feelings, dreams and hopes - surprise - they are not just there to fulfil your wishes. And by keeping secrets from your friends and loved ones, you might eventually end up shutting them out of what's really going on inside you. Try to maintain your regal attitude without being a royal pain in the ass.

Hhmm.... what do you think?

Maan @ 11:43 PM
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Monday, July 11, 2005
Let It Go

By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.

And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you .......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ......

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2005!!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left.. think about it, and then ....

LET IT GO!!!

Maan @ 11:34 PM
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What's your secret?

I stumbled upon this really great blog called PostSecret where people send in postcards with their secrets on it.

Maybe one of these days when I'm feeling artistic, I might just make my own postcard and send it to PostSecret.

So what's your secret?

Maan @ 2:10 AM
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Saturday, July 09, 2005
...brought to you by the letter C

Yesterday was brought to me by the Letter C.

Chinese Monk - for lunch
Catnap - at Anna's place
Cancelled Symposium - which I was supposed to go to
Correcting errors - our assignment in Buscom which is due in a few hours
Chunky Corned Beef and Chopsuey - our (Trex, Glenn and I) dinner
CDs - listened to MYMP and Nyoy Volante
Coffee and Cookie - craving for cheesecake but ended up with a cookie
Classmates - talked about our classmates: Who's hot and who's not?
Closing Time - headed home at around 12MN

At Trex's place trying out Glenn's new camera phone

Maan @ 1:35 AM
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Thursday, July 07, 2005
Sarah, masasaktan ka lang

"Hindi pa sya tumatawag."

Sabi ni Sarah habang nag-da-drive ako sa kahabaan ng Pasay Road.

Sya ang nag-umpisa kaya tinanong ko na, "Sino? Yung boylet mong may girlfriend?"

Sagot nya, "Oo. Tinatanong ko nga sya kung kamusta na sila ng girlfriend nya. Hindi pa raw sila nag-uusap simula nung nagkakilala kami and wag nalang daw namin pag-usapan."

Kaya sinabi ko na sa kanya ng diretso, "Sarah, masasaktan ka lang. Alam mo ba yon? Kaya tigilan mo na."

Ang sabi naman nya, "Alam ko. Masasaktan talaga ako."

---

Sarah, masasaktan ka.

Pero ipagpapatuloy mo pa rin kahit alam mong sa huli, ikaw ang masasaktan.

Pero kapag nasaktan ka, hindi ka iiyak sa harap namin. Pride mo lang. Sa gabi ka iiyak, kapag mag-isa ka nalang at wala kang kasama at walang makakakita.

Pero ito rin ang masasabi ko sayo... makakalimutan mo rin sya ....makakahanap ka ng iba ...at iisipin mong naging tanga ka...

Pero ok lang kasi maalala mo rin na naging masaya ka rin naman ...kahit saglit lang ...kahit alam mong, sa huli, masasaktan ka lang.

Maan @ 12:35 AM
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Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Love and Lust in the Gray Area

What is a gray area? As defined by Tina Pamintuan in the premiere issue of HIM magazine, "it's the new relationship, this place with lots of spontaneity and sexual energy, but with no demands and promises - if you can handle it, it might just work well for you."

Here are some more excerpts from the article:

When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that in itself is a decision.

It's something, not exactly nothing.

I'm sure we're all very familiar with this situation. You establish that you don't have a status. Then most of the time it gets complicated when one party wants more than the other is willing to give. It's usually the woman, mainly because, emotions aside, women can't put emotions aside, especially if she is sexually involved.

Someone once told me that even if you press the "pause" button on the relationship, you can only hold back for as long as you can, but you can't stop emotions from developing. Feelings are inconsistent and unreasonable.

...butterflies live in the gray area - that amazing feeling of being in bliss and being excited to see the other person, not knowing what they are doing, and thinking of them thinking of you.

Celebrate the gray area... the element of surprise, the unexpected burst of emotion... there are many advantages of being in limbo.

Keep in mind that an "erotic friendship" is a temporary relationship. You can't stay there forever.

Our masks conceal what our false hearts fail to admit.

---

If you want to read the full article, go and get yourself a copy of HIM magazine.

Maan @ 11:42 PM
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Sunday, July 03, 2005
Kwarto

I share a room with my mom. Mama's girl kasi ako and nandun lahat ng gamit such as the big bed, the TV, the DVD player, the aircon. So technically, I don't have a room of my own. My 'room' in this house has been converted to the computer room/library/ironing room. It's actually a mess. The PC is here, as well as books and magazines, toys, clothes to be ironed, our shoes and a lot more stuff.

I may not have a room of my own. But I have a cabinet of my own. My cabinet where I store almost all the things which I treasure. But I take for granted most of the time. Such as...

...my clothes. It is such a mess! I tell myself everyday that I'm going to clean/arrange my clothes. Then bigla akong tatamarin. I know I need to sort them out. I need to take out the clothes I haven't worn for 6 months or more. Everyday, my dilemma is what to wear to the office. I would whine to Mama and tell her, "Wala na akong masuot!" and she would reply, "Walang masuot? Punung-puno yang cabinet mo." That's why I need to throw/give/store away the items I rarely use.

....my books. All my books are here. I love looking at my book collection. I don't have a lot of books. Maybe I have less than a hundred. I don't buy books which I can borrow from other people or the ones which are 'national bestsellers' that everybody has a copy of. I do not have a copy of Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code or Angels and Demons but both are my favorites. The books I have are usually books which not a lot of people have but are really good books such as Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, Summer Sisters and Wifey by Judy Blume, Chat, Connect and Crash by Nan Mccarthy, Till there are faces by CS Lewis, Girls by Nic Kelman and a whole lot more. I've read somewhere that you should only lend the books you do not want. So pardon me if I'm a little bit selfish with my books. The thought of losing even one of them breaks my heart.

...photos. All the pictures that I have since high school are in my cabinet. I look at them from time to time and reminisce on how things were before. High school pictures in our navy blue jumper or white gala uniform, college photos of our yearly Halloween parties in Ayala Alabang, pictures with my Fleet Family. Of course the pictures only capture the happy moments in my life. What else should it capture? The sad ones? Of course not. That's why we take photos. So we can remember the happy moments in our lives.

...letters from friends, relatives, ex-friends, ex-crushes. I am such a sentimental fool. I keep all letters, cards, invitations which I receive from people. I seldom re-read them though. Masyadong madami. I keep them because the letters serve as my diary. It documents my life and the life of my friends and the people who gave the letters to me.

I really need to clean my closet. I need to throw away the things which I do not use and are no longer useful. It's somewhat like therapy because it helps me let go of things which I do not need anymore and believe me, I have a hard time letting go... of anyone or anything.

So let's take small steps. Let's start with my cabinet.

------

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban
Mga liham ng linihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayon kailangan ng itapon

Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon..

May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na
Tayo'y nasaktan

Alaala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto't naron sya
Magpapaalam na sa'yo ang aking kwarto

Magpapaalam na sa'yo

Magpapaalam na sa'yo ang aking kwarto..

---Kwarto, Sugarfree

Maan @ 2:09 AM
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